Back Door Friends!  A bit of My Heart Today!

Back door friends!  This is dedicated to a special group of women who in a short time have become true friends!

We’ve lived in this small town for over 10 years and today, for the first time, I felt comfortable enough asking a friend to help me as I needed to drop my car off at the mechanic and needed a ride.  I asked her and didn’t even think twice, I knew that if she could do it, she would!

Earlier this morning, I awoke to a text from another friend who asked me “how are you doing…stop avoiding the question”  Someone really asked…really wanted to know, more than just small talk.

Last night, I had a mini “fire” to put out, and I reached out to another friend for advice.  “Please help me through this, please read my words and make sure I’m handling this correctly”  She too owns her own business and I trust her wholeheartedly.

As I opened up Facebook, I saw a post from a dear friend, who is also my biggest cheerleader and is always encouraging me…she again affirmed my work and her love for me.  

I walked up to a friends home, and instead of going to her front door, I thought, I’m going to go to her back door.  I felt comfortable enough for the first time, to not feel I had to use the formal front door. A peace came over me and I could feel myself exhale…you know the type of deep exhale when a burden is lifted.  

You see, God has brought a group of women together, a community, a tribe and we are back door friends.  

I have been so lonely, owning your own business in a small town in so many ways is a blessing, but it has been hard to really put down roots and feel safe enough to share and be vulnerable.  To feel safe, to cry to, to laugh and grow. I had watched others form deep friendships and wondered what was wrong with me? Why could I not have girls night outs that were “Instagram” worthy?  Why I felt I had no one who really “got me” I joined local women’s groups, we tried small groups at church, I had women that came and went for whatever reasons, but that void was there, and my heart hurt.  I started praying last year, God, please fill this void, please send me the type of friends that I can call when I’m stressed beyond the max or that when I’m struggling as a mom.

In January, God brought together a group of women who have become those friends.  We are from all different walks of life…all doing different things, but in our group of 8, there are common threads that only God could have put together:  

  • Several are business owners
  • A few are stay at home moms
  • A couple of struggled with infertility
  • Some of us attend church together
  • A few have had some real health struggles
  • Two of us have kids in the same school (and through the changes of graduation and kids moving schools we will STILL have kids in the same school next year)
  • A couple have walked through adoption
  • A couple have grown up in a very toxic faith situation
  • A couple of us are photographers
  • Two have kiddos graduating this year
  • We span from little ones who are still very dependent on us to kids who are out of the nest
  • There are a few with backgrounds and their “story” could be a book
  • The list could go on…..

Through all of this, the most common thread is God, the desire to grow closer to Him and in the process God has blessed us each with friendships that are nothing short of awesome!  We meet weekly, and what God has shown me in this short time is that we are definitely NOT created do go on this journey of life alone!  

Why am I sharing this?  Because I’m sure that there is someone reading this, that is in the same place I was last year.  That your heart is longing to belong, and you wonder if you were made for friends. You get on social media and see girls trips and BFF’s and you question why that isn’t you.  Friend, I’m sharing with you that we are not created to be alone! We were created to have others in our lives to have a community. The thing is, is that it won’t just happen, you have to make it happen.  You have to work to find it. Don’t be afraid to reach out, to share openly that you are looking for a community! I promise there are others that need it too.

If you are willing to be uncomfortable, give up time, pray, and be willing to be vulnerable, then you are ready

I made it a point at the beginning of the year to:

  • Each week, ask someone to coffee (I wasn’t going to wait to be asked)
  • I was going to reach out to someone new every few weeks to connect and encourage
  • Make space in my life for whomever God brought…not try too hard to analyze

Today, nearly 6 months later, I feel I have back door friends through a weekly Bible study and my heart is full!  

I’m not photographing newborns very much anymore, only for coaching and mentoring sessions, but I couldn’t resist sharing these sweet babies who rocked their sessions as I taught!  Are they not just adorable?

newborn mentor photographernewborn photographer coachingnewborn photographer mentor

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