Leaning and Reflecting! Chapel Hill Family Photographer

Welcome 2018!!!  I’m such a sucker for new starts, like I love back to school as it’s a “fresh start’ I love the first day of a new month, I even enjoy Monday’s, so you can understand why I love the NEW YEAR!  As a business owner I always find it a little daunting.  What am I going to accomplish this year? What are my big goals?  and I do have them and will share more about that in the next few days, but today, I wanted to take a look back to 2017!  What a year! God taught me so much throughout the year, how to continually rely on Him for EVERYTHING…Financial, emotional, physical and practical needs.  When God is called our provider, He lives up to that name in ALL areas of our life.  For me that is a lesson that I had to learn, to rely on him for EVERYTHING!

STRENGTH:  This year I faced some major health issues, issues with my iron and hemoglobin, it left me exhausted and weak and for this chick…I don’t do weak well.  I found myself falling asleep in the middle of the day, I was struggling with all the driving/traveling I do, I couldn’t stay up and do my all night editing marathons and I had a hard time lifting props in and out of my car.  My body was failing me and I wasn’t use to it and fought it!  I cried at night wondering what I was going to do and how I was going to make it through with my schedule!  God gently reminded me that they that wait will renew their strength and then they will run!  I had to wait (which that means to trust in, to put confidence in what God said He would do) when doing that, He would renew me and give me the strength I needed.  He provides!

FINANCIAL:  This my friends is something that I feel I’m always learning, and yet God always shows that He provides.  I am blown away that I can rest in it.  As some of you know, I’ve been the sole provider for my family as my hubby finishes his masters and begins his new career as a counselor!  When God led us this way, I thought there was no way that my little photography business would be able to do that, but it has and more abundantly than ever!  Last year was suppose to be the “last year” of single income, but it didn’t end up that way, licensing took a lot longer than we expected (state beauracracy) and what I thought was going to be 3 years turned into 4.  I battled with God about this, frustrated, but do you know what? 2017 was my best year yet financially!  Why do I worry?  He provides!!!

EMOTIONALLY:  This is raw and vaurnable, but I really feel someone needs to read this!  I struggled last year emotionally.  Now, looking back, I can say that it was probably due to all the health issues and pure exhaustion from being malnourished and no blood, but I didn’t know that and I felt broken. I questioned my friendships and the relationships God had brought into my life.  I struggled with motivation and probably was walking in depression. Emotionally I was a mess.  I was stressed and felt anxiety creep in more often that when is normal.  I felt alone and defeated in so many ways.  One night as I was crying out to God (literally) I realized that He was there for the broken hearted, that I needed to lean on Him for that.

There is so much more that I had to depend on God for last year, for comfort in times of pain, for peace in times of severe anxiety and panic and for healing in times sickness.  But you know what? He always provided…at times it wasn’t the way I thought it would be, but looking back, all our needs and so much more were taken care of!

So as I look forward to 2018 and all that it holds, and my heart begins to race a bit and I think about all the things that I need, that my family needs, I pray that I have learned from 2017 and the lessons that God showed me. That leaning, which means taking the support off of me and putting it on Him, letting Him be my rock, the one who holds me up, who lifts my head, that I can find rest in that very word!



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