I have to say, this weekend was a bit of a whirlwind.  We had both sets of grandparents visiting (such a blessing) Makaley’s play Mulan that she, and the rest of the cast, have been practicing for the last 4 months was performed, and mothers day!  What a busy weekend, but in the midst of it all, my heart has been heavy.  You know those times when you can’t seem to find the joy.  When things around you are good, but you feel down and blue.  That was me this weekend.  I realized a few things when I was laying in bed last night trying to re-cap my feelings and the weekend.

1.  I miss my mom ….I realized last night after my son said something about “Mom, you are always like this at holidays”  I realized that I really miss my mom.  That even after 8 years, the pain of not having her around for holidays or especially mothers day, is definitely there.  I struggle so much as I don’t want my kids to feel that burden, the loss, I want them to enjoy the holidays, but those feelings are very real.
2. Sometimes owning your own business just is not fun.  I love what I do, but I feel every tiny morsel of stress.  I carry it when an order isn’t perfect or I feel I haven’t captured a session the way I wanted to.  I feel the burden when I don’t have the time to switch out a window display (as I do this week).  As in most things in life, it’s ebs and flows and there are good, actually great days, and then there are some not so great.  I feel that all.
3. God has God this!  So in the midst of my feeling blue and down, I realized that God was right there, that He wants to cary me, that this is the time that He longs to be daddy.  He wants to pull us into His loving arms and just say “rest and be”   So I found joy in that last night!  I found peace, that my God was walking with me and loving me through, and He can do that for you!

I had the sweet pleasure of capturing this little peanut a few weeks ago.  So sweet and so loved.  Our newborn sessions are booking through fall of 2016.

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